Queso-Deprived

I'm hungry. In fact, these days, I'm always hungry. I've gotten to the point where I'd rather eat cardboard than another grilled chicken breast.

So, in one of my first blog entries, I commented about how it seemed like all brides got crazy about dieting/losing weight before their weddings. I knew I wanted to get in shape -- the real question for me was whether I'd be able to motivate myself to get off my a** and into the gym.

My first super-genius idea was to join a gym. This was back in July 2007. As the months clicked by, that never happened.

My second super-genius idea was to sign up for a half-marathon. Running would be a sure-fire way to kick off my fitness regime. Well, I totally slacked off, never trained, and made it through the race by the skin of my teeth. That was back in January 2007.

Around mid-February, it dawned on me that my wedding was 3 months away, and panic struck. I knew I was going to be pissed off at myself if I didn't at least try to make some effort to get in shape, but I also knew my inherent laziness.

I ultimately decided that I needed outside help - so I signed up to start working out with a personal trainer. In our first session, she asked me to describe some of the things I liked to eat. The list went something like this:

1) Chips & Queso
2) Brie
3) Texadelphia
4) Chuy's Comida Deluxe
5) Christian's Totem Burgers
6) 911 Roll (deep fried spicy tuna roll) at Osaka
7) Red Wine
8) Frenchy's Fried Chicken
9) BW-3 Hot Wings
10) Chik-Fil-A waffle fries

Her jaw dropped to the floor, and she immediately said, "You need to be seriously thankful you are not 250 lbs." She said first, and foremost, I needed to change my eating habits. Not so much to lose weight - but to get the results I wanted - which (and this makes people laugh) is to have arms & back like Anna Kournikova. So over time, she had me go through a baby-step diet makeover. It went something like this:

Week 1: Cut out ALL fried food (and queso) -- this was surprisingly difficult. I was not really aware how much of my diet (e.g. 90%) was fried food.
Week 3: Increase protein intake -- not slightly, but MASSIVELY
Week 5: Reduce sodium
Week 7: No alcohol -- this has been impossible
Week 9: Cut flour -- again, also close to impossible

So, being at week 9, you can imagine that my life pretty much sucks right now. I gag at the sight of chicken, can't stand the routine of boiling eggs, and want to punch my trainer for telling me to "pretend baby carrots are french fries."

That said, I'm seeing a big difference. I haven't really lost any weight, but I'm definitely getting stronger and building up muscle. It is not uncommon for me to be caught in my co-workers' offices flexing and kissing my biceps or asking people if they have "tickets to the gun show."

With 3 weeks to go, I'm praying that I can survive. Note: I am writing this blog entry while the rest of my office is enjoying an office party complete with booze, southern fried chicken, biscuits and potato salad. Blogging at work is my way of giving them the finger for torturing me.