Big Jet

GHC likes her mother more than me.    This is not news- all sane people do.    So G's preference for her mother's company shouldn't come as any real surprise to anyone reading this, most of all myself.    Unfortunately, this can cause stress on NKC when G won't let me help with any of the work.     Not that I volunteer much, or am even really capable of doing even the simplest of child rearing tasks necessary for getting through the day.     But we've devised a system to get her to let NKC get a minutes rest.    For those of you who are even worse parents than me, read on.

        Ever since she was a toddler, G has liked to be fake scared.     By fake scared, I mean she likes to pretend people who are perfectly innocuous, like myself, are in fact wolves, lions, tigers, trolls, panthers, etc, as an excuse to run around screaming and shatter glass squealing.     Standard stuff, I assume.    She's applied this to members of her family.    The dogs are "stinky wolves," which is fair because we rarely bath or groom them.   I'm a tiger, or if we are in the pool, a crocodile.    Her Papa is a panther, her uncle is "Clinky Bo Stinky" who lives in a bearcave, which would make him a bear, I suppose.    Her little cousins are some type of very immobile wolf-pack.   As for NKC, she's Big Jet.

               

       Who is Big Jet?     He's the baddie in G's favorite cartoon, Little Einstiens.   See above, where he's shown enslaving a small red rocket ship, creatively named "Rocket" in case you were wondering, on an African savanna.    Obvious racial overtones aside, it turns out Big Jet is a huge dick.     He's always trying to ruin the multi-racial, education minded Little Einstiens' good deeds- stealing picnic baskets, cheating to win races, jacking with parades, etc.     Despite the fact that Big Jet is clearly a warning to the youth of America about the dangers of the military industrial complex, G has chosen to give her mother Big Jet as an alter ego.    And G is flat (pretend) terrified of NKC/Big Jet.     She'll take off screaming through the house and hide herself wherever she can.   

                           

                                                                      Like in my suits.

      Parenting Tip:    If you convince your child that Big Jet, or whoever, will get them if they don't do some chore, and keep them in the play-fear moment, you can ensure that the disfavored parent can do some of the work.     This is how I am able to get G to take a bath every night.    Whatever works.