Weekend To Do

THC is gone this weekend and work (don't tell my bosses) is slow for me. That leaves me with a lot of open options on what to do with my weekend.

Here are some things I WILL be doing:

1) Sleeping with a steak knife under my pillow. I am terrified of being alone in my house at night. There are always weird creaks and rustlings in the backyard, and Harley always starts to freak out, which in turn, freaks me out. So far, it has always been due to a 'possum, but you never know when it's going to be an axe murder. So, potential axe murderers be warned - I am armed. Yeah, it's a steak knife, but it's one of my wedding gift steak knives, so I'm packing the good stuff.

2) Watching all of the crap TV that THC doesn't let me watch. "16 and Pregnant" is one of my new faves. Along the same lines, I also like those "I am so fat, I didn't know I was pregnant" shows.

3) Painting and drinking. Me, Teshia & AKL are signed up for painting class tonight at "Pinot and Picasso" - basically you get to drink your way through 3-hour art class. This class definitely falls high on the "Stuff White People Like" list, but whatevs. It is probably not as white-bread as the other weekend activity I had pondered for the weekend. Anyway, this is what we're painting tonight. Which one of you is be the lucky recipient of a Texas Prairie painting from me this Christmas?
4) Eating Taco Bell, BW3 wings and Flaming Hot Cheetos. It's not that THC controls what I eat, but he always makes me feel bad about myself when I eat the foods that make me happiest [actually, come to think of it, maybe that is worse!]. Anyway, earlier this week I was at Judy' house, where she has an awesome stash of junk food - pregnancy paradise. Without asking permission, I opened a new bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos and proceeded to devour almost all of the contents of the bag (and sadly this bag had 20% extra free!). Our friend Sh*thead came over later and saw the cheeto carnage, to which I replied, "Can you believe we ate all those Cheetos?!" --- yeah, that's right. I blamed my cheeto smackdown on a pregnant lady. I am a good friend.

Things I WON'T be doing.

1) Exercising. Or should I say "shredding." On my new web-BFF's blog, she mentions this thing called the 30-Day Shred. According to Amazon's 1,200+ web reviews, the average rating is 4.5 stars (out of 5). And it's only like $5 for the DVD. Yeah - sounds like a good deal - $5 to score a rocking body, and only 20 minutes a day! Too bad I "don't have time" to exercise any more. Between complaining about my ass getting bigger and bitching about needing a new wardrobe to fit said ass, my schedule is just overloaded.

2) Reading. I just started a really good book, but the problem is it's hardback and almost 500 pages. So it's heavy. Like gallon of milk heavy. I just can't seem to find a comfortable way to read this book without my arms feeling like jello, so I'm just going to stop reading it. How is that for being the laziest person ever? This is actually just a self-imposed ploy to justify purchasing a kindle.
3) Gardening. That was sooo two weekends ago.

4) Talking to my Mother. Don't get me wrong, I love my Mom - she is awesome. But Dr. T is getting married in exactly 2 weeks, and there is a lot of dra-ma. Not real drama, but totally nutzo stuff that I can't deal with. Again, because I have more important things to do with my precious time.