Painfully Regular

... no, I'm not talking about THAT. I'm talking about my LIFE!

The screeching halt to my work and travel schedule has left me feeling very weird. Some of the notable differences I've seen as I've adjusted back into regular life:

1) No insomnia/guilt for sleeping. I'm now on an 11-hour regular sleep cycle. THC says he wants to try a science experiment to see how many hours straight I could sleep if I were to take an Ambien. I think I could do 20. He thinks 24. Either way, I'm game for the challenge.

2) I am broken of the morning routine of waking up (20 minutes late due to aforementioned lack of sleep) with sheer terror, immediately reaching for my blackberry before putting in my contacts, and spending 40-minutes furiously responding to emails while squinting out of one eye. Now I'm back to the morning routine of rolling out of bed to lay on the floor with Harley for 30 minutes, playing a few rounds of Freecell, looking at catalogs, and obsessing over my eyebrows. [stop staring! yes, they are uneven!]

3) My caffeine intake is back down to 1.5 cups per day. At its peak, I think I was loading up on 6+ cups per day. Our office had one of those awesome Keurig machines. Seriously, if anyone knows a coffee addict, this would make the best Christmas gift ever. Or 32nd birthday gift. I'm just saying...


4) I miss my hotel valet guys. I realize that is a weird thing to miss. But I guess I miss the little extra shot of doting in the AM. I miss the fact that there isn't a chilled bottle of water waiting in my car for me when I leave. And I miss having the valet guys tell me, "You look terrific, Mrs. C [they had to call me that, no matter how much I insisted otherwise]. Can I grab you a bagel or croissant for your drive to work? Go get 'em, Mrs. C." The most AM doting I get these days is THC nudging me goodbye (or yelling "Wake up you lazy sack of laziness!") before leaving for work and Harley/Emma gifting me with at least four bag-loads of dog poop on our AM dog walk. My, how the mighty have fallen.

5) The steady delivery of FedEx boxes from my online shopping sprees has resumed. And I am buying a bunch of crap I really don't need. Take these shoes for example, featured on Piperlime.com.
Apparently, by wearing these hideous flip flops, my ass and legs will miraculously look like Gisele Bundchen's. Sign me up. Oh, and add three more pairs of shoes - since shipping is free this month.