These trips follow a very distinct pattern, as outlined below.
2.5 hour trip to Bastrop. Brother bitches about not napping for 20 minutes, immediately falls asleep once we pass Katy.
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| Brother just sleeps fat. |
Arrive, change into bathing suits in the back of the family truckster, and jump in the pool. This is the "heated" kiddie pool. It made me very uncomfortable.
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| Urine Content: 10-15% |
Check in about 7pm, hit the "saloon" for chicken fingers for y'all and beers for Daddy, then roast S'mores. Roasting marshmallows,you are a perfectionist, Brother is an arsonist. How he hasn't torched another guest yet is beyond me.
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| That's not even food anymore. |
If I can get y'all down before eleven, I drink myself to sleep and then order room service in the morning as we wait for the pool to heat up. Brother coats the room with a thin film of syrup and squashed berry juice.
More Lazy River. Unnatural amounts of Lazy river. Lazy River until it hurts. And then some more Lazy River.
Brother prefers the tubes with the plastic bottoms. He says it's because he can't fall out, but we all know it's so he can pee in it and ride around warmer. Some genius gave him a squirter this year too.
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| Look carefully- that's you in the background. |
Both of y'all have taken me giving you permission to pee in the pool as a command to sing it out at top volume every single time you do. Makes for some awkward exchanges with the next person down the river.
Then, finally, home. Brother bitches about napping until about one minute before the drive-through McNuggets arrive. You eat most of the nuggets and pretend we never got any when he wakes up. Mommy gets two days off to remember how great we are. It's a good system.
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