Texans Game

Much like the entire Texans franchise, there's no reason you should remember this, but we went to a game during the 2016 season.    A Sunday game, at 7:30 at night.   On a school week.   Your mother and I picked up our Parents of the Year awards on the way out.

Given that you could care less about football and people who actually attend NFL games in person are a distinct class of sub-human garbage, why did we do this?     Ehhhh...why not?  Bored?    And your Mother got free tickets so.....

But since NFL teams cater to fans with the IQ and attention spans of fruit flies, it was right up your alley.    You got a big sign saying "Beat the Colts" as we walked in.   You latched onto it and waved it around like street preacher with a Bible.   Your hatred of the Colts, who you had never heard of 10 minutes earlier, was a touch frightening.

Brother's mind touches the void.

Then came the entertainment.     When the scoreboards started playing a pre-game animation of two giant Texas/Colts robots battling it out, Brother was completely sold.   He could have given a shit about the game but damn did he like the CGI robots.     And then you both lost your minds when they started shooting off jets of flame as the team ran out. Brother laughed and screamed "It's burning me!"   But, you know, in a good way.

You and I got the good seats.

Once the game actually started, I got sick of explaining why they kicked it every fourth play, so we had to keep you entertained by shoveling "food" into your faces.    The plastic Texans helmet that your ice cream came in is still sitting on the kitchen window ledge of veneration.

Note the "Peanut Butter and Sandwich" in the plastic bag.   It was his dinner.

   Also, Brother likes cotton candy.   He was so wired he could have played strong safety a few series.

Pure joy.

We made it until half-time.   Y'all got to sleep around 11pm.   I regret nothing.