The Bachelorette - Painfully Awkward

If there is a plus to being away from home and THC, it is that I get to watch as much ridiculous reality television without the groans of "Oh, my god, how many G-D cities can they have f-ing 'Real Housewives' in??" or talking to Harley and saying "Mommy loves Bret Michaels more than she loves us."

Now that the newest season of the Bachelorette is on, I was really looking forward to finally enjoying sarcastic-commentary-free episodes.  Turns out, maybe THC is onto something.  This show is just terrible!

Let's start off with the Bachelorette herself, Ali.  I really loved Ali in the Bachelor, and I thought Jake was way too much of a tool for her.  She was cute, energetic and charming.  But I'm now thinking that was because we only got to see glimpses of her among 24 other female nut jobs, like Michelle ("I... AM HERE... FOR LOVE!") and Gia ("They used to throw stuff at me and call me names in high school.").  The more footage that I see of Ali, the more I realize she's sort of an annoying sorority girl type (T-Pain being the exception).  You know the kind who says, "Yeahhhh, Vegas, Babeeeee!",  shouts "Waaaa hoooo!" way too much and uses the word "party" as a verb.

But then there are the guys.  Oh.  My.  The guys are just awful.  Don't get me wrong, some of them are hot (er, ahem, not hotter than THC, of course [cough, cough]).  But it turns out they are as boring/dumb as they are good looking.  I mean, the one-on-one date with Jesse.  Could that be any more painfully awkward???  On several occasions, I had to pick up a book or newspaper to look away.  Yet at the end of the date, they were both like "Oh my God, that was an ahhhmaaaazing date!"  Did I miss something here???  Looked to me like all you did was thrash around a pool and engage in painful small talk whilst dressed in fancy clothing.

As for the not-so-hotties, I was especially disappointed that our hometown candidate, the Weatherman, turned out to be such a wimpy drama queen.  I mean, I'm not even a guy, and I wanted to sucker punch him to man up and say he called Craig N. out.  This guy is part gay BFF, part annoying little sister and part wounded puppy.  It has now become my new mission when I get back home to find this guy (I looked for him on Channel 2's website and didn't see anything - anyone have any leads?) and slap him around to say "DUDE!  Stop being such a little b*tch!"

If I had to make a prediction now as to who goes to the finale, I say Frank and the guy from Cape Cod whose mother just died (poor baby).  I would have said Rico Suave, but methinks he might be a little too suave.

And yes, I'm missing THC.  For all his groaning and complaining, he was all "I can't believe Jake's going to pick Vienna" last season.  Tee hee....  just don't tell any of his friends.