Inevitably, I always feel guilty about not being myself. But what am I supposed to tell the guy? The truth? That underneath this fabulous wardrobe (jk), I'm just a mean little brat!
So, here's where the confession comes into play (not that Protestants believe in confession, but it makes me feel better anyway). Here are some examples of my meanness - and these are only from the last 24 hours:
1) Making fun of THC's tooth-whitening habits. For anyone who has used whitestrips, you know that they cause you to talk funny and get a little drooly. Every night, as soon as THC puts on the whitestrips, I start running around taunting him and making fun of his lisp. Even worse evidence of my meanness is the fact that I am publicly blogging about THC's tooth-whitening obsession as a punishment for the asinine argument we just had over the phone.
2) Making fun of a 40+ year old co-worker. Did you ever have that shocking revelation as a child that not all adults are cool? That nerd kids grew up to be nerd adults. (yeah, I know, kettle) Anyway, there is this one co-worker who all of us loooooove to make fun of. To the point where we (attorneys) forward daily emails and sit behind closed doors and giggle and laugh about her for hours!
3) Gossiping about a mutual friend's ridiculously low LSAT score (I'm talking like "do you even have a pulse?" low score).
4) Responding to a firm-wide email regarding the recent grand jury indictment of a woman who worked in our industry by making fun of her ugly mug shot.
Ahhh... I feel much better now that I've confessed my sins for the day. I really wish I were a nice girl. And yes, I have done enough self-pyschoanalysis to realize that being mean is just a reflection of my own insecurities, etc. etc. But I just can't help it. Who knows, maybe marriage will bring out my softer, gentler side.
Don't be fooled by Harley's sweet exterior either! Underneath all this is a dog waiting to bite! Just ask my neighbor and his meandering foot!
4 comments:
Would you make fun of the secretary in our downtown office that sent an office wide email that said "Who ate all my cheese strings? I want to know now! And you owe me either CASH or a new packet of cheese strings." That made me laugh...
Nice girls aren't fun to hang out with... or maybe other nice girls like hanging out with them, but I don't.
I can't believe you ate a girls cheese strings, j. Now that's mean. NK, you have nothing on her.
#1-4 are why we love you. Now, the need to post another picture of your dog on the blog....that's a different story.
Nancy - Thank you so much for letting me know about this blog - now I know Heyward is into tooth whitening. I just sat in my office laughing my ass off when I pictured him with his white strips.
Jimmy
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