Like all public schools, yours, Horn Elementary, needs
money. And needs money now. And, in a move that would make Nike et.al.
proud, they get their money from the sweat of indentured six year olds. In
your case, that comes in the form of a “Fun Run.” Basic
idea: get a bunch of grudging sponsors
to pledge a dollar or two per lap, and then just run around in a circle 35
times.
 |
| In-Race Selfie |
Oh, they dress it up.
There’s god-awful music and tunnels and teachers flinging colored chalk
for the nerdlingers to run through.
Mostly it’s sweaty kids and confused Asian parents. Even Brother wasn’t impressed, and he thinks
a garden hose is the most incredible thing ever invented.
 |
| Nope of these are you. |
But for some reason, you lose damn your mind for this chance to annoy your relatives and be exploited. Although
I can’t get you to get within ten feet of the ball during a soccer game, you
were weaving through the slower kids, pushing people out of the way and
would not stop to even high-five during
your quest for the full 35 laps. If it
was a race, you would have won- easily.
I hope charity work is not your calling, because that’s more
e
 |
| Brother: Mehhh.... |
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