Cause I did it.

Recently, your brother has figured out what you did way earlier than he did- basically that you can do anything you want as long as you are cute about it afterwards.   In other words, Brother has figured out his inherent cuteness and is using it for evil.    Such as scheming to screw over Santa.

 

 

He applies this principle thusly:

1. Do something shitty (color on walls, kick your Legos, steal Peeley)
2. Cackle Manically
3. Get Called-Out by Parental Authority Figure.
4. Be cute and try to dispense hugs.
    
   The problem is that it works.  And you’re rightly getting sick him getting away with stuff. 
    
   When pushed about why he did whatever horrible thing he’s done, he always falls back on one phrase- “Cause I did it.”
    
   “Brother, why did you give your waffle to the dog?”    “Cause I did it.”  
   “Why did you pull Gracie’s hair?”    “Cause I did it.”
   “Why are you on top of the refrigerator?”   “Cause I did it.”
    
   
    
   We can’t get it through to him that this is not an explanation, nor is it remorse in any way.    Your mother thinks he’s a psychopath.    I explained to her that all 2 year old boys are psychopaths.  
    
   Other favorite phrases:
    

1. “Deeeez Nuts.”   (I’ll take responsibility for this one.   I think it’s hilarious.  He even sets it up by asked “What kind of nuts do you like?”  Me: “I don’t know.   What kind do you like?”   BAM, and he screams it.   It’s the greatest.) 
2. “You’re so cute.”    He usually uses this one while you are cleaning up some disaster task he created, like rolling a piece of poop out of his pull up into the toilet.
3. “I’m mad at you.”   He’ll say this, with a ridiculous frowning face, if you refuse him some extravagant demand, like that dinner be solely peanut butter cookies.  
4. “If you don’t do XXX, you are out of this family.”  Or:  “I’mma sell you to the circus.”
    
   We should have never taught him to talk.