Awkward Addiction

So... as a follow up to the video post from a few days ago, we started to realize that GHC had a little fear of going #2 in the toilet (or as she likes to tell her teachers, "dropping a deuce").  In order to incentivize GHC into deucing it up, we have started to offer her a "Poo Poo Surprise", which is, of course totally self-explanatory.

The first few Poo Poo Surprises had to be really good so that she understood the basic concept.  Not Shitting Yourself = Awesome.  So, her first Poo Poo Surprises included My Little Ponies, Angry Birds candy, leftover birthday presents that we stored away in the closet, etc.  GHC caught on fast.

The problem now is that she is totally addicted to crapping.  No fewer than 4 times a day (keeping in mind, during the week we only see her for about 3 hours of her conscious state), she tells us she needs to "have some me time."  As she is sitting on the can, turning purple trying to squeeze out a grape-sized nugget, she starts muttering under her stifled breath with cross eyes, "what's my surprise?"  All dignity being long lost, there I am, sitting on the floor of the bathroom, watching my 2-year old blow out her o-ring, and begging her to stop shitting.

Naturally, we have turned down the volume on the quality of Poo Poo Surprises.  We tried giving her 1 or 2 M&Ms or a gummi vitamin or even some used stickers.  Yet the shitting continues.  I shit you not!  (bad pun)

So, we decided tonight's Poo Poo Surprise should be extra lame - we gave her a copy of the Yellow Pages.  And guess, what?  She thought it was the coolest Poo Poo Surprise ever.  I suppose I forgot for a nano-second about her whole unhealthy addiction to the color yellow (more on that later).

Sorry for another post about shit.  But that's how we roll these days.  Don't hate.  But hey, it ain't like anyone's forcing you to read this shit.  (ok ok enough bad jokes)